My Ex-Friend and I

About ten years ago, I met her. She was petite in stature, a little chubby for someone of her build, had round hazel brown eyes and a ton of freckles. She had a raspy voice, which she proudly compared to Mariah Carey’s, but I can’t remember hearing her sing even though we went to a karaoke bar for our first team building.

If you were her friend, she would have your back. She would fight your ex for you; even fight your ex’s side chick in public. She’s super biased. She chooses her friends even if you were the asshole. I guess that partly made her so fun to be with. She started this whole thing where we would meet up at least once every year for dinner and catch up with each other. She was kind of the social butterfly of the group, always had some place to recommend, so we always left the planning to her. We trusted her so much, but she ended up becoming a lesson for all of us.

Since I was back in town for a short while, I asked everyone who was available out for dinner. And well, we couldn’t really help talking about her. We were confused why she did what she did. One of our friends who didn’t even know what was happening asked if we hated her. Surprisingly enough, we can’t even bring ourselves to hate her. We were hurt, getting betrayed over something so petty, getting lied to, but what we felt towards her was more of a disappointment than hatred. We wanted to understand why things had to end the way they did.

We invested so much trust in our relationship with her that it really did hurt. I won’t talk about how her relationship with our common friends was like, but I’d like to give you a little insight about how ours was like.

You see, I am very shy. I may give off an intimidating aura, but that’s just me trying to cover the shaking, scared me. The intimidation works pretty well because I have a scary face, apparently. I panic a little inside when I talk to strangers, scared that I might stutter and say the wrong things. I try to clear my mind and prepare myself mentally, most of the time. I’ve been doing this for so long that I guess my mind and body can go on auto pilot now.

She, however, was confident in everything. She couldn’t care less about how she walked, talked, and looked like. She would come to work in shorts, with uncombed hair and no makeup. She apparently had a certain reputation, but I didn’t care. She was nice to me, even introduced me to her other circle of friends, even if it was a little awkward, but I was glad that she thought of me as someone worth bringing into another circle. We would go out every now and then, just the two of us, to go on ukay-ukay trips, have lunch out on our rest days, and plan spa days. We only went to the spa once though.

Come to think of it, seeing her a lot was pretty expensive. LOL

So I cooked at home, and just invited her over. I got to come over a few times too. She got one of my dogs’ puppies and I was glad that I got to see the pup every now and then. Thinking back, it seems like we did spend a lot of time together. Over the course of our friendship, she had gone through a breakup with someone I have never met in person, lost a lot of weight with kickboxing and running and starving herself, and caught the travel bug.

She gave me the bug too. She gave most of us the bug. It was the best thing we got from her.

She was part White, so she loved going to the beach and soaking up all that UV ray goodness. She loved having tanned skin. If you were as white as she was, you’d love having that golden glow too. She was a lot of fun, she was silly but she was very petty. I am everything that she was not. She was a breath of fresh air. I couldn’t even dare do half the things that she can.

It was her pettiness that ruined everything. She would gossip, allegedly made up stories, called people names, told lies (this is the same thing as making up stories), and ran away with our money. We once saw a foreigner with a Filipina at a fast food restaurant and she told us to look at the maid. It was a stereotypical joke, but still.

She would chat me up and tell me that she booked me a flight to somewhere on this date and that. That it was too much of a good deal to pass up. So I would send her the money because she allegedly used her mom’s credit card to pay for the ticket and I didn’t want her mom to pay for my ticket.

But there was no ticket. Excuses piled on top of one another when I asked for the itinerary, but no tickets were booked. I sent her cash monthly from Zamboanga to save for a microlending business that we were collaborating on. I even made the application forms, had done some research about how we were gonna go about it. She promised to send me the paper work for the business, but still nothing. It got to a point where I asked her to give me my money back. I never did get it back.

And it wasn’t just me. Our circle wasn’t the type to tell, but when we got around to talking about her, we found out that everybody got f’ed up one way or another. She did have fights with some of the people she scammed, but I wanted to openly communicate with her and never fought her. I didn’t want to tell on her, but I found out that she borrowed money from one of our friends too, so I asked him about it. I told him about what was happening between us and told him to be careful. Being a good friend to her, he got upset with me and of course defended her.

They had to go through a rough patch but he at least got his money back. But the friendship was tainted, and it ended things between them.

She blocked me on all her social media accounts, so that means I never got mine back. Despite all the bad blood though, we just can’t bring ourselves to hate her. We did have some good times, and she was there for us when we needed her in difficult times.

I guess if she does come across this, I hope she has found her peace.

You may also like

Leave a Reply

Your e-mail address will not be published. Required fields are marked *